TODAY IS VALENTINE'S DAY. I JUST FINISHED BRUNCH WITH A FRIEND. OUR DISCUSSION CENTERED AROUND THE LOVE OF GOD, HOW HE LOVED US SO MUCH. WE HAVE BOTH BEEN HURT BY CHURCH PEOPLE AND WE CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW SOME PASTORS NOT ALL SOME TAKE THEIR POSITION LIGHTLY. THEY ARE TO SHEPHERD THE FLOCK, NOT KILL, NOT HARM, NOT DESTROY, NOT BEAT DOWN, NOT VERBALLY ABUSE, NOT MISDIRECT, NOT CONFUSE BUT SHEPHERD. TO LOVE, COMFORT, GIVE DIRECTION, SHAPE AND MOLD USING THE WORD OF GOD. THEY ARE THE CEO'S OF THE BODY OF CHRIST.

IF A CEO DOES NOT MANAGE, TRAIN, SUPPORT AND DIRECT HIS STAFF WELL, THE IMPACT SHOWS IN THE LACK OF PROGRESS FOR THE COMPANY. SAME THING WITH THE BODY OF CHRIST. IF THE FLOCK IS NOT MANAGED WELL, GIVEN THE TRUE WORD, POINTED TO JESUS IN EVERY SITUATION, GIVEN DIRECTION THROUGH THE WORD, PRESENTED WITH A TEACHING OF THE WORD TO HELP BRING FORTH REVELATION KNOWLEDGE THEN THE BODY OF CHRIST WILL NOT PROGRESS WELL.

THE TWO OF US HAVE STOPPED GOING TO CHURCH AND HAVE SOUGHT AFTER THE TEACHING OF THE WORD THROUGH WEBCAST FROM VARIOUS MINISTRIES. NEITHER ONE OF US KNEW THAT THE OTHER HAD STOPPED GOING TO CHURCH UNTIL WE TALKED TODAY. GOD HAS DIRECTED ME TO ATTEND A BIBLE STUDY WHICH HAS ALLOWED ME FELLOWSHIP WITH A FEW BELIEVERS.

I AM IN NO WAY READY TO JUMP BACK ONTO THE SADDLE OF "CHURCH" THERE IS A PASTOR IN MICHIGAN THAT ONCE SAID "SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO LOOK AT WHY WE DO THE THINGS WE DO IN CHURCH. IS IT OUT OF TRADITION? DO WE THINK IT WILL BRING IN MORE PEOPLE? ARE WE COMPETING WITH ANOTHER CHURCH TO SEE WHO DOES THE MOST? WHAT DID GOD SAY FOR US TO DO? WHY CAN'T WE JUST DO WHAT GOD SAYS, NO MORE AND NO LESS.

THE THOUGHT FOR THE DAY-FEAR NO MAN- HEAR FROM GOD-THEN DO WHAT GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO DO.

MANY YEARS AGO I THOUGHT I KNEW WHO I WAS, WHERE I WAS GOING AND HOW I WOULD GET THERE. TEN YEARS LATER I SIT AT MY TABLE LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW. ADMIRING THE AWESOME VIEW, MOUNTAINS, WATER, WAVES, AND TREES BENDING WITH THE WIND. ONLY TO KNOW FOR SURE RIGHT NOW. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM SUPPOSE TO DO IN LIFE. I HAVE SPENT THE LAST TEN YEARS IN TRIAL AND TRIBULATIONS AS THE BIBLE CALLS IT. I HAVE JUST STEPPED OUT OF THE FIREY INFERNO. WHAT AM I TO DO NEXT? NOW I SPEND DAYS WANTING TO TALK TO GOD BUT AFRAID THAT I WILL HAVE TO WALK THROUGH AN INFERNO AGAIN. I AM TIRED, AND FEEL LIKE THE JOURNEY HAS TO BE OVER BECAUSE I CAN NOT GO ANOTHER STEP.

MY GOAL FOR 2010 IS TO FIND ME, WHERE IS THAT PERSON WHO HAD JOY AND LAUGHED ALL THE TIME. WHERE IS THAT PERSON THAT WANTED TO BE A BLESSING ALL THE TIME TO EVERYONE. WHERE IS MY SENSE OF HUMOR.

SO, I AM ON A QUEST TO FIND ME. THE PERSON THAT GOD CREATED ME TO BE. THE PERSON THAT SAVED AND SET FREE. I SHOULD LEARN HOW TO BE FREE THEN MAYBE I CAN FIND ME. THE QUESTION OF THE DAY IS NOW TO LIVE FREE KNOWING THAT CHRIST DIED FOR ME.

I WILL SPEND TIME LISTENING TO THE SPIRIT OF GOD. THESE DAYS OF JUST DOING THINGS BECAUSE THATS WHAT OTHER PEOPLE EXPECT OF ME IS OVER. OVER AND DONE WITH. I AM FINDING ME.